


Milk Oolong

by EthelPhantom



Series: Aroma Mocha [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Cassandra Cain is a Little Shit, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Mildly salted, Mute Cassandra Cain, No Angst, No Angst Anywhere in Sight, Ridiculous, we love her though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23295874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EthelPhantom/pseuds/EthelPhantom
Summary: Maribat March 2020, day 24: Coffee Shop AUMarinette would not have guessed the Red Hood would one day stumble upon the little coffee shop she worked in, but he did, and now she has to deal with the entire Batfam a whole lot more all the while she accidentally falls for the idiot that orders tea at a coffee shop way too often.
Relationships: Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Jason Todd
Series: Aroma Mocha [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675237
Comments: 60
Kudos: 1091
Collections: Maribat March





	Milk Oolong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverWhiteRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWhiteRaven/gifts).



> You can pretty much thank SilverWhiteRaven on Ao3 and Tumblr for the fact this is not angsty at all, so. She came up with a lot of the ideas for scenes that happen here, as well as with the bonus scenes at the end. 
> 
> Have fun though!

It was a normal day. Night. Whatever.

Or, well. It was  _ supposed to be  _ such, anyway.

As it was, Marinette stared, surprised, when the  _ Red Hood  _ marched into the coffee shop she was in charge of for the night. 

It didn’t scare her or anything though, no. Marinette knew that Red Hood, while he killed people, never did so without a good reason, and most reported deaths caused by him were also actually bad and disgusting people she got to hear about from her customers. He was also exceptionally kind to children and women and regularly got into fights because he was defending them and yeah. Marinette was definitely okay with that. Mostly, anyway. At the very least she knew she could trust him not to shoot her.

Besides, it wasn’t like he had killed in a while. Paralysed? Yes. Incapacitated? Yeah. Made sure someone had chronic pains for the rest of their lives? On the nightly. But killed? No, not in quite some time now.

In short, because Marinette didn’t have anything to hide and she wasn't a bad person, not in that sense anyway, she wasn’t scared. She didn’t need to be scared.

It took her an embarrassingly long moment to remember she was supposed to greet new customers though, and just because the customer was the Red Hood didn’t mean she could just  _ not  _ do it. 

“Hi! Welcome to the Aroma Mocha! What can I get for you today, sir?” she asked, smiling. Marinette pushed the rag she’d been using before Red Hood had arrived away from sight, as she was supposed to, because it wasn’t good for business in the owner’s opinion. At least she was in charge during the nights because no one else wanted the shift — no one else wanted to accidentally come in contact with the Red Hood. 

“The sign in the window says you give free things to vigilantes during these hours. Do I count as a vigilante?” he asked with a grunt, the mask distorting his voice. 

Marinette seemed to have no self-preservation or sense of what might be dangerous as she crossed her arms on her chest and cocked her hip a little. “Well, you’re kind of a crime lord/vigilante so I’m not sure. I suppose it depends on what you’ve been doing lately.”

Her attitude, regardless of how much it was meant to be joking, was so going to get her killed one day but putting up a front did help with dealing with anyone possibly intimidating so maybe she didn’t care too much.

To her surprise, Red Hood made a sound that strongly suggested he kind of wanted to laugh but tried not to. “Well, if I made sure a couple of child molesters are never going to be able to stick themselves into anyone ever again, what would that make me? A crime lord?”

Marinette pretended to consider it, tapping the side of her mouth with a nail. “Hmm. Such a difficult decision… Yeah, no. What would you like? Yeah, for free, though only if you take some extra and go give it to the children on the streets. I can’t, but you know, who am I to stop a patron from doing so with their own food,” she said shrugging as though she wasn’t practically ordering  _ the Red Hood  _ around. 

It was a good thing she knew he cared about the street kids.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, kid.”

“I’m twenty-two, I’m not a kid.”

“Alright, alright.”

Red Hood raised his hands in surrender though he was laughing a little. It was nice. Strangely comfortable.

“Anyway, what does the big bad vigilante Batsy still doesn’t know what to think of while on the field want?” she asked, smiling. After all, regardless of who it was, she was working and it was customer service. 

“I certainly like the sassiness better than the cheerfulness no one actually has at this time of the day aside from Nightwing," Hood stated before looking up at the menu on the wall behind her. What do you suggest? I mean, I still have to be up until 4 at the very least, so a few more hours.”

“Well, I think the Blonde Americano would have the most caffeine in it, so that might work. If you want a cold drink though, then the Iced Peppermint Mocha would probably be the one I would take,” she said, pretending to list the things on her fingers. Yes, the all of two things she mentioned. “What do you usually like?”

“Tea.”

“Then why are you in a  _ coffee shop? _ I mean— Damnit, I clearly have not slept, sorry.”

That was definitely a snort that she heard from Red Hood. 

“I don’t really care either way, much more entertaining when you’re not being all proper,” he decided. “Anyway, yeah, the Blonde Americano is probably okay, I’ll take that. And is there any food you’d throw away if they're not bought today?”

“Oh boy, is there. There’s _always_ such food, unless I’m baking. Do you want some?”

“I want everything that is perfectly edible you would have to throw away.”

“All of it?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. At least it won’t go to waste for once. I mean, I’m not allowed to take any of it myself, not for myself or those in need, so it’s just better if you take it and give them away on the streets. There’s a lot, by the way, so I’m gonna give you a box along with it. Are you going to drink here or on the go?”

“Here’s good.”

“Alright. In case you like reading, the bookshelves are that way.” She pointed to left without even looking. 

Marinette turned around to make the coffee as Red Hood made his way to the books. She was a little surprised, but then again, looks were deceiving so she didn’t pay too much mind to it. Besides, she’d told him the books were there, so well.

“Alright, Hood, here’s your coffee. I’ll pack the food as well. Also, I’ll tell all possible other vigilantes who took all the food if they end up asking for some. If they come for your blood, I cannot be blamed.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s not like they’re gonna succeed anyway.”

“...You underestimate hungry Batgirl. And hungry Nightwing.”

⬷۵⤐

“What do you mean there’s no food left  _ there’s always food left unless you baked  _ and I know for a fact you did not bake today.”

Marinette sighed. 

She’d jinxed it.  _ Both  _ Nightwing and Batgirl were there, seeking for food. She was so charging Hood for the coffee next time. Not the food, she knew he was taking it to the kids and she wanted them to get it almost as much as he did, but charging for the coffee sounded like a good idea.

“I mean, there’s no food left. Like I already told you. It’s all gone.”

“ _ But why is the food gone? _ ”

This was going to be a long night. 

⬷۵⤐

“You actually told them.”

Marinette turned around to see Hood back. She grinned and did a salute. “Well hello to you too, Hood. Yes, I said I would. Did they come after you?”

“Oh yeah. Batgirl’s right hook is mean.”

“Be glad you didn’t get a brick in your face. Red Robin did at some point… though I think that might’ve been back when Batgirl was still Spoiler and Red Robin just Robin— I mean, what? Anyway, what do you want today?”

Hood shifted on his feet awkwardly and pressed a hand harder at his hip but looked up at the menu as though it was nothing. “Maybe tea today? Have you got lemon-vanilla tea?”

“Should have,” she said, already looking for where their teas were. “Why are you getting tea from a coffee shop though?” 

“Why does a coffee shop sell tea?”

“Touche.”

As Hood took the cup she handed him, he walked rather awkwardly to the nearest table. Marinette watched it for a moment before she groaned, took out the emergency kit and walked over. 

“How badly are you hurt?”

“I’m not hurt.”

“You’re holding your hip and there’s blood on my floor.”

“...No?”

“Just let me help. I took over the shift for a reason, and it’s not only that it’s the most peaceful here at night.”

“Peaceful at night? Here in  _ Gotham? _ Are you serious?”

“Well, everyone leaves the shop alone for some reason. So yeah.”

Hood let go of his hip and immediately hissed. “Damnit.”

Marinette just shook her head. “Take whatever off that will let me get to the injury. I’m closing the shop while you’re at it so no irritating bats are coming over.”

“Irritating?”

“I love them, especially Black Bat and Red Robin, but they are the reason I’m going grey before I turn 30. All of them. Especially Black Bat, Robin, Nightwing and Batman. The only vigilantes that don't really visit are like, Oracle, Batwoman and Batwing, I think.”

“Didn't you just say you loved Black Bat? Also,  _ Batman? _ ”

“Oh yeah.”

“Damn.”

It was a stab wound. Not very deep, and it hadn’t seemed to hit any critical points, but would definitely hurt at this point. Marinette applied some anaesthetic cream on the skin and got to work. It took her a while, but it worked. 

Hood should consider himself very lucky she had gone through too many first aid classes mostly for this  _ and  _ knew how to sew. Made stitching easier and more efficient.

For some reason, Marinette had a feeling she had a new vigilante causing her grey hair in her hands.

⬷۵⤐ 

“You want oat milk in your coffee?”

Hood stopped in his tracks as he had been making his way to the bookshelves. 

“Do I want  _ what _ in my coffee?”

“Oat milk. You asked for it a few visits back, remember?”

“Damn, Nettie, you sure know how to get to a man’s heart. Yeah, thanks.”

Marinette smiled softly at Hood’s back as he turned back to see what he wanted to read this time. 

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” she whispered.

⬷۵⤐

As Marinette walked to the table where Hood was sitting, still a coffee mug in her hand that she totally wasn’t supposed to be drinking but was, he turned to look at her with the book of this week in his hands. “Is there any way I can borrow this? Also, aren’t you forbidden from drinking coffee.”

Ignoring the latter half of Hood’s words, Marinette shook her head. “Sorry Hood, but no. The boss’ rules. Patrons can’t borrow anything outside the store because you know, we’re a coffee shop. Not a library.”

Hood’s shoulders slumped but he didn’t argue it. Of course, he didn’t. He respected her, and Marinette wasn’t sure she could ever begin to explain how much she appreciated that — there were quite a bunch of customers who  _ did not.  _

As Hood came by the counter just before heading back out to get the leftover food — seriously, it had become a tradition by now —, Marinette stopped Hood before he was able to leave. “Wait a moment, Hood?”

“Yeah?”

“Ehh… If you don’t tell the boss I sneak coffee during the shift, and yes, I know you know, I’ll let you borrow books outside the store.” As much as she loved Kate and thought she was a wonderful boss, the woman could be damn scary when she was irritated. She didn't even spend much time at the shop since she was a socialite, but enough to most likely be there if people started talking about en employee drinking coffee during their shifts.

Dear God, why was she doing this again? Oh yeah, because Hood was probably the most polite customer she had ever had. Even Black Bat wasn’t as polite. Actually, Black Bat, while not impolite either, wasn’t “polite” per se like, ever. She was a little shit. After all, there was that time she hid all the spoons in sight away and it took Marinette ages to find them, and then that time when she swapped the coffee mixture etiquettes and moved them around, and that time she moved everything in the coffee shop that wasn’t attached to the floor by a few centimetres, and that time she hijacked the computer so the names were all wrong,  _ and  _ the time she put all the syrups in wrong bottles. 

Yeah, Black Bat was a little shit and Marinette had no idea how anyone thought she was this cute and quiet and responsible girl because  _ she was not.  _ Quiet? Yes. Anything else? Yeah, no.

“Seriously? You’re not gonna get in trouble?”

“Well, as long as I delete that bit of tape from the surveillance, it’s fine.”

“...You can do that?”

“Would you rather have my boss murder us both? Because like, she could and she _would._ ”

“Okay yeah, got it.”

That was how Hood started borrowing the books all the time.

⬷۵⤐

It kept happening. Hood came by nearly every night, they talked, and suddenly Marinette realised she had a new friend. Which was great, by the way, since she really didn’t have too many friends anymore. Kagami, Luka, some of the bats… and Chloé. It was still weird to think about, but Chloé was now a better friend than she had ever had in Alya. And besides, Chloé had actually apologised when she realised she'd done wrong and needed to change. Alya did not.

There was one night when Chloé insisted on coming with her because apparently she didn’t trust her word about Hood being so nice always, and that was how Marinette found herself in the night shift  _ not alone  _ for the first time since she took over it. 

“Seriously, Chlo, he’s not bad. He’s better than Nightwing at least, and there’s no question whether he’s more polite and nicer than Robin. Because he is.”

“Well, that’s not too difficult. He’s a shithead most of the time.”

“Just because the first time I met him and complained to you didn’t go too well doesn’t mean he is like that anymore. Besides, I like him better than most people, such as Alya and Lila, even if he’s still a little shit. But he cares.”

Tapping her manicured nails against the counter, Chloé scoffed. “Well that's not difficult, but whatever you say, bug.”

Soon enough, the bell above the door chimed and Chloé looked up, ready to do her work. Well, the work Marinette told her to do if she wanted to be there — she wasn’t going to let Chloé freeload  _ and  _ bother her at work both. 

“Welcome to Aroma Mocha,” Chloé said in with mock cheerfulness in her voice before her brain registered just who had walked in. “Well, if it isn't the Red Hood. Just the man I wanted to see.”

Hood’s hand went to his heart, gasping. “Nettie! How are you not the one to greet me when I come by after a long night of chasing criminals? Such betrayal!”

“Get on with it, Hood. Chloé, meet Hood, my most polite  _ and  _ frustrating customer by far. This is one of my best friends, Chloé. I love her but she's a major pain in my ass. I’m taking a break. Have fun and don’t kill each other, thanks. Play nice. I want to see the shop intact when I come back.”

“I wouldn’t kill her!”

“Hood, I’m not concerned about you killing her, really. I’m concerned about Chloé trying to kill you.”

She could  _ hear _ Chloé’s smirk. The arguing only started once she was in the break room though. Thank god. She was sure Chloé was going to fight Hood about his friendship with Marinette, but Marinette had high hopes for them. She was certain they would get along like a house on fire if they actually had a civil conversation with one another. 

It took her about 20 minutes before she returned to where Chloé and Hood were, surprisingly, not at each other’s throats. They had even stayed on different sides of the counter, which Marinette took as a good sign. There wasn’t even any blood on the ground or the tabletops or the shelves or the windows or— well, anywhere. Nothing was even broken.

Chloé was scowling though, so Marinette was pretty sure that whatever they had talked about, it hadn’t been going too  _ well _ either. Even Hood was in an offensive stance, and it took Marinette everything not to start scolding both of them right then and there. 

“...Maybe I should go. See you later, Nettie,” Hood began and made his way towards the door before Marinette threw a spoon at his helmet. It was a good thing they had already established that meant she didn’t want him to go just yet. 

“You forgot this the last time,” Marinette said, pushing a thermos into Hood’s hands. He lifted and turned it around, realising it was filled. 

“Did you—?”

“Yeah. Now go, you big dumbass.”

As Hood was out of the door and Marinette turned around again, she was met with Chloé arching her brow. 

“Seriously, Bug?” She just shook her head, clearly disappointed in Marinette. “You’re so screwed.”

⬷۵⤐

“Nettie, I—”

“I swear to god, Hood, if you’re going to order tea one more time, I’m officially murdering you. Dude, seriously, this is a  _ coffee shop,  _ why do you keep asking for tea?” Marinette began as she spun around and went absolutely still at the sight of half the Batclan in front of her. Burying her face in her hands, she groaned. “Oh my god, you've _got to be kidding me._ I just declared I'm going to murder Red Hood in front of the Bats when Hood is literally one of them.” Could the ground just swallow her whole or something? _Please?_

The ground didn't do that even though she'd said 'please'.

Red Robin didn’t even blink at her declaration and instead walked up to her and nearly slumped on the counter. “Can I have a triple expresso with four additional risteretto and seven additional shots of caffeine?” Marinette blinked at the order. Had she heard that right?

Nightwing was on it immediately, confirming that yes, yes she was, even if it was only accidentally. “I am so sorry about him, you don’t have to listen to him, he isn’t supposed to be getting those amounts of caffeine—” 

Marinette couldn’t even tear her eyes away from the first person who had ever asked for her levels of caffeine intake. She was rather surprised it was Red Robin who did it, too. Somehow he hadn’t seemed like a person who didn’t know how to control his addiction. Marinette had a feeling the reason he was never alone when he came by was that he'd do it all the time too much.

“You’re perfect, marry me,” she said, deadpanning, before turning to actually make the drink. Over her shoulder, she called, “Definitely better to find someone who actually drinks coffee instead of asking for  _ tea  _ in a  _ coffee shop.”  _

Was that Hood choking on something and spluttering in the background?

So yes, maybe she was teasing Hood, but she was allowed that if she also had to deal with so many bats at  _ once.  _ It was totally justified. 

“Everyone else? What would you like to have during this night of vigilantism and terrors so unspeakable you decided to come to a coffee shop instead of like, fighting the crime?”

Nightwing snorted. "Yeah, I can now see why Hood insists on coming here whenever he can. Why are you never like this when I come by?"

Marinette ignored him in favour of calling out Black Bat without even looking at her.

“Oh and Black Bat, get your butt back to the customers’ side of the counter; I don’t want to have to explain to my boss why everything is in chaos again.” 

A box of tea fell down on the ground with a clank. Thank god the box was metal. And that it was properly sealed. If it hadn’t been so, she would have now had to deal with the mess that was tea leaves on the ground. Thank god. 

Marinette turned around to face Black Bat who was frozen behind her before recovering and being on the other side of the counter within two seconds. 

“So, what would you like to have? And are you staying here to drink and/or eat, or are you going to take the things with you? Yes, that means no trying to sneak food right under my eyes, I need to know what you’re taking, Robin. You can choose whatever you want but I still need to know _what exactly_ you chose.”

Robin looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He pulled the hood over his head to hide and backed away before disappearing in the only shadow the shop actually had. There was a reason he was soon visible again. Marinette laughed when the boy huffed out of irritation and scowled.

Black Bat tapped her on the shoulder and pointed at the item on the menu. Americano. Marinette nodded and wrote it down (god, she needed to learn sign language as soon as possible, she felt bad for not being able to let Black Bat talk to her in that way ever even if she wanted to), then looked up at the rest of them. 

Once they had made their orders, she started making the drinks, snickering as she listened to the Bats (and birds) arguing and pretending they were only civilly talking. It was pretty clear that the only reason things didn’t get physical was that  _ she  _ was there and they would feel bad for destroying the shop. That, or they actually knew the owner and didn't want her to yell at them. That would certainly explain Kate's decision to let vigilantes get free stuff during the night even though she also complained about the Bats a lot.

“Here you go. An americano for Black Bat, that heaven of caffeine for Red Robin, a caribbean for Batsy — are you certain you want rum in the middle of patrol? Oh okay —, salted caramel mocha frappe for Nightwing, passionfruit-lemon ice tea for Robin and this is for you, Hood,” she said, handing everyone else their drinks before giving Hood a cup of hot chocolate. 

She did have tea brewing for him as well, she just wanted to see his reaction. 

He did nothing but grumble a little before taking the helmet off and drinking it. Marinette was impressed. He said  _ nothing _ about giving him a wrong drink. It was a little surprising, to be honest. 

The others seemed happy with their drinks and didn’t notice (or point out) the drink wasn’t what Hood had asked for, so she sighed and tapped Hood on the shoulder. He turned around and —  _ god this was the first time she was paying attention to how he looked like and he was gorgeous what the hell  _ — quirked a brow. 

“Here’s your  _ actual  _ drink. Sorry, I wanted to see your reaction to a wrong drink. Hope this compensates for it?”

Hood took the cup in his hands and tasted it. “Oh, this is actually good. You’re forgiven, Nettie.”

She grinned and booped Hood’s nose before getting back to her work.

⬷۵⤐

“Hood, get your feet off the table, now! And sit properly on the chair, not so that half of the legs are up! You’re gonna fall and it will hurt.”

Hood didn’t even  _ hear  _ her as he was leaning the chair back on two legs only. She was also scared he might break the chair and she wasn’t sure how well she could coerce him to pay for it. Was he listening to music at the same time? Was he streaming music from comms or something? It would totally explain why he didn’t hear her.

So, Marinette walked to him, set the cup of tea he had ordered on the table, and as she walked away, she knocked him off balance, making sure he fell and the chair  _ didn’t  _ break. Hood looked up to her and arched a brow in a “seriously?” sense. 

Marinette just shrugged. “Stop it or you’ll fall again.”

He did stop. Most likely because the floors were hard and he knew she had a point even if he didn’t like it at all. 

(Hood suspected Marinette was to blame, but it wasn’t like he had definite proof, and also  _ her shop while she manned the counter, her rules were to be followed during the night, and she was allowed to knock him off the chairs if she wanted to.) _

⬷۵⤐

It was one of those times when Marinette ended up not caring whether the Bats knew just how much she knew about them and instead just opted to tease Hood by talking about her favourite Robin — after all, there had been five. Obviously one of them had to be her favourite.

“Hey Batsy, how’s the second Robin? I’m not sure if he’s still one of you since he apparently died years ago, but it seems you guys don’t really know how to stay dead, so… Is he doing fine? He was always my favourite—” Marinette had to bite her tongue to keep the smile contained as she saw Hood choke on his coffee. “—and it would be great to know about him a little more.” 

Batgirl was leaning against Black Bat and held her stomach as she laughed, Robin was scowling, Black Bat chuckled quietly, shoulders shaking a little, Red Robin snickered in the background while Nightwing slammed his fist against the wall, trying to keep himself standing as he laughed his heart out. Even Batman seemed to be trying to hold back laughter.

Hood, though. Hood was trying to hide the fact he was affected by any of this, which was all the more fun to Marinette. After all, who else would try to hide it than the one who was directly the subject of it. 

Batman coughed, drawing her attention to him. Marinette focused her gaze on him, not wanting to miss anything he might tell her about the second Robin. Or, well. The Red Hood. 

Because yes, she knew.  _ Obviously.  _ She had been paying attention. Also, the Bats weren’t too subtle about it if she was being honest, like that time the news reported Hood had yelled something about being dead and then the Bats were way too familiar with him and Hood — regardless of what he said — dressed up in a red bat symbol over his chest. It was rather clear he still somewhat thought of himself as a part of the clan. It was _also_ clear he did it to spite Batman, considering his name was Red Hood which was spiteful towards Joker (who totally deserved it) but that didn't mean that he also still didn't think of himself as family. A little bit if not completely.

“Well, he doesn’t talk to me very much, but he does seem to be better now. He actually found someone he seems to enjoy spending time with some time ago. Nightwing did say he likes to… What was it he called it… ‘wax poetic about her’ often.”

Marinette pinched herself to keep from laughing. This was too amusing. Though did he mean her or some other girl? Hopefully her. 

“Hey Nightwing, what does he like to say about her?”

Nightwing was just about to reply as Hood hit him on the shoulder hard and hissed something under his breath. Marinette had no idea what was actually said, but she did have her suspicions and it was most likely something about telling Nightwing to shut up, accompanied by blackmail.

“No can do, Teacup. Sorry!”

Marinette crossed her arms over her chest and shot a glare at Hood. “How  _ dare you _ stop Nightwing from spilling the tea? The second Robin was my favourite and probably the best Robin there has ever been and you  _ stop me from being told how he is?  _ Rude. I had even thought about starting to call you Robin Hood because you are kind of a criminal but also help the poor and so on, but then you do  _ this  _ to me?”

“I wasn’t ever even Robin, why would you call me Robin Hood?”

His voice got more uncertain under Marinette’s pointed look as he got to the end of the sentence. The last bit of it was barely said but Marinette heard it anyway. “...Or at least I wasn’t one anyone would like.”

“Sure you weren’t.”

“Fuck, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yep, yep you did. Like said, my favourite.”

⬷۵⤐

“Have you ever thought about getting a hamster?”

“...What brought this up?”

Hood didn’t reply, really, just pulled out a small hamster from his pocket and handed the animal to her. 

“She needs a family. Found her on the streets, took her to the vet already and all, I just don’t want Robin to get another pet. He really doesn’t need any more.”

Marinette eyed Hood suspiciously before reaching out to take the hamster in her hands. She was small and fluffy and nuzzled to Marinette’s hands as she held her gently. 

Okay, so maybe she was already in love with the little hamster, but Hood really did not need to know that part, thank you very much. His ego was already big enough, it didn’t need to get any bigger if you asked Marinette.

“Sure, I’ll take her. Her name is now Jeanne.”

“Named after Jean Grey from the X-men or like Jeanne from Kaitou Jeanne or is she just randomly named?”

“Well, almost the second one. Jeanne d’Arc. She is the best and deserved better. I will honour her to the best of my abilities.”

Hood nodded solemnly. “Understandable. She is great.”

A smile spread on her face at Hood’s statement. She was happy he also respected Jeanne because she hadn’t deserved what had been done to her. She had saved France and then they had just sold her out to England and let them burn her on the stake as a witch. Sure, everything was a little more complicated than that, but still. 

“I have to go now though, I don’t have more time today. See you later, Nettie!”

He was already gone before Marinette replied, smiling as she rolled her eyes fondly. “See you later, you idiot.”

⬷۵⤐

There was actually another time when all of the family came by together. Well, everyone but Robin, but that wasn’t too surprising as Robin had gotten injured two nights ago. 

The ordering went smoothly, Black Bat didn’t do too much damage around the shop, and they were, for once, all talking with her. It was fine and mostly civil until it somehow got to her liking designing and her mentioning she didn’t like half of their costumes — only Batgirl and Black Bat were okay because she knew they were both lesbians and lesbians were allowed to dress however the fuck they wanted. She'd also heard Batgirl criticising Red Robin's different suits on various occasions so that also got her a pass.

“Like, seriously. Could I  _ please  _ redesign all your costumes? Long-term help and all that!”

“No.”

“Yeah but  _ Batsy,  _ you’re letting your kids go out in  _ these?  _ I’m pretty sure Red Robin is my age at the most but he looks like thirty in that cowl. That’s  _ bad.  _ And Robin’s colours are way too bright, Nightwing’s suit… Actually, you know what, Nightwing is good.”

Nightwing let out a whoop. 

“But  _ Batsy,  _ what the hell was your old costume? Underwear over the suit? Also, tell Supes his looks horrible as well. Someone  _ needs to tell him. _ And the cape you still have hinders your movement, like,  _ what is up with that?  _ I feel like I should be spraying you with water and yell “No, bad” at you. I don’t think you really know anything about proper costume designing.

“And  _ Hood.  _ Oh Hood. Your costume is mostly okay even though that tin can over your head could be better, but  _ why is your name the Red  _ Hood  _ if you don’t even wear a hood?  _ It’s a helmet for fuck’s sake.”

Marinette shook her head, disappointed. “We should all just start calling you the Red  _ Helmet.  _ Would fit you way better. Or would you prefer Helmet Head? Oohh, that would be great.”

She caught Nightwing snickering and Black Bat’s body shaking lightly from the corner of her eye, both clearly amused by the situation. It was good to see others found it funny as well because Marinette was barely able to contain her laughter herself. 

“Yeah, you’re Helmet Head now. Red Robin, spread the word! Hood’s name is Helmet Head now!”

Red Robin made a two-finger gesture to let her know he was on it a moment before he chugged rest of his coffee and snatched a sandwich with him. Then he was gone, the bell above the door still chiming.

Hood groaned and took off his helmet, probably just to show her he was glaring at her. Marinette shrugged. 

Eventually, Hood did come up with something to shoot back at her. “Well, when you put a sack over someone’s head, it’s called a hood. Good enough.”

Marinette scrunched her nose. “...Touche, but I’m still redesigning it. It’s absolutely horrible. You should’ve gone with a motorcycle helmet,  _ Helmet Head.” _

Pretending not to notice his sulking proved out to be even more amusing than she had ever thought.

⬷۵⤐

It was a slow day and Marinette was at work at 3pm for a change. She had no idea how it had happened as she hadn’t wanted the shift, but well. Here she was anyway. At least it was mostly quiet. 

She didn’t really pay attention to who came in and who left, it didn’t really matter as long as she was quick to greet the new possible patrons and ready to serve them. 

But then the strangest thing happened. The youngest Wayne Heir stepped inside the shop, scrunching up his nose at the smells inside and people who looked at him in awe. He was also dripping water. 

Marinette sighed and picked up a towel from under the counter that she kept for the vigilantes. It was fine, probably. 

“Hello and welcome to Aroma Mocha, what would you like for me to get you today?”

“A hamster.”

That reply stopped her in her tracks. He… what? 

A  _ hamster?  _

“Pardon me, I’m not quite sure I understood what you mean, sir,” she said. “Also, would you like a towel? It seems you forgot to bring an umbrella and I would prefer you didn’t drip all over the floor.”

“-tt- Give me the towel.” As he was drying himself and his hair, he lifted his eyes back up at Marinette again. “But when I say I would like a hamster, I mean exactly what I said. I know you were brought a hamster some time ago. I want it. How much do you need to be paid to give it to me?”

Was he even trying to be subtle? If he wanted her not to recognise him immediately, he really needed to stop talking to her the same way in and out of suit. Also, his step pattern and movements were way too familiar, too similar to how Robin acted. 

Marinette stared at the young boy in front of her eyes before she burst out into laughter. “Yeah, sorry, but no. I’m not selling Jeanne for any price, thank you very much. After all, your big brother— I mean,  _ a dear friend of mine  _ gave her to me. You can come over to play with her if you want to, though. That’s fine with me.”

So what if she wanted to mess with him a little and give him a hint she  _ knew  _ now? She had the right to. It was his fault she found out. 

(Regardless of that, Marinette tried not to think about the rest of their identities too hard, knowing that now he would be able to recognise each and every single one of them. They deserved to keep their secret and Marinette wasn’t about to destroy that even if it had been one of their own who jeopardised their identities. 

The young heir frowned before her words hit. “My— my elder brother?”

“Nope, didn’t say anything. Would you like something to drink? I feel like you would enjoy passionfruit-lemon ice tea.”

“I shall let you prepare that for me.”

“That would be three and half dollars, please.”

“-tt- here.”

Somehow even despite how the exchange went, Marinette ended up seeing more of Damian Wayne in the shop. He even asked if he could come over to play with Jeanne one day; Marinette had grinned at him and told him yes, as well as a time that would work for her.

The boy was both frustrating and adorable, and it was amusing seeing him try to get her to admit she knew who he was in and out of mask. 

It never worked. 

She never said a word about the implications ever again.

⬷۵⤐

“So, you befriended the Demon Brat, huh?”

Marinette looked up from her cup at Hood who had sat down at the table nearest to the counter. She raised a brow, unimpressed. His clothing for the weather was horrible. That idiot. Also, did he really not realise that Robin always came by as Damian rather than Robin? If she hadn't known earlier, well, _she did now._

“What Demon Brat? I only know a bit annoying but otherwise wonderful and sweet boy who loves animals,” she stated, setting her cup aside. A little bit of coffee spilled on the counter and she already mourned the loss of her sweet elixir of life. “Did you know that your little brother absolutely adores Jeanne? He’s even started bringing her gifts whenever he visits.”

“Damn. I thought he only did that with his own pets.”

A chuckle escaped Marinette’s lips. “For real? Maybe he considers the hamster his as well now. Oh well, as long as he doesn’t steal her.” 

Their conversation lasted longer that night. When he was about to leave, Marinette called after him and handed him her own scarf. “It’s cold. You’re not wearing enough layers.”

Hood didn’t take it though and instead crouched to her level, letting her drape the scarf over him. That dumbass. Why did she like him again?

Oh yeah, it was  _ because _ he was like this. 

(Next night, he came back with a completely different scarf, gave it to her and claimed that it had been stupid of him to accept the scarf Marinette had given him as she wasn’t the one with a heated, protective suit, and “here, take this one because the other one might be a little bit bloody.”)

⬷۵⤐

Marinette lied on the table, annoyed. Her favourite fabric store was out of business and they were selling everything away for cheaper but it was across the city and on one of the most dangerous areas of Gotham and she could hardly go there alone. Usually she had Luka or Kagami and Chloé with her but the girls were on a trip together and Luka was on a tour with Jagged so that didn’t work at all.

Basically, she wouldn’t be able to go at all. 

It was just about then that Hood decided to come in. Marinette only spared him a quick glance to make sure it was just him (Hood would let her be like this — no one else would. She also didn’t trust anyone else enough to not do anything stupid with the shop or to her while unguarded, only Hood) before putting her head on her arms again. 

Some time passed by before someone tapped her on the shoulder. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” came Hood’s voice. “I’ve been told I’m a great listener.”

Marinette bit back a laugh. “Sure you are. There’s just this store I wanted to go to this fabric store but I can’t go there alone and my friends aren’t in the city right now.”

The chair next to her was pulled back to let Hood sit down on it. “Well, would it help if I came with you and then escorted you home? I could do that. I can also help carry stuff, it’s no problem.”

Eyes widening, Marinette sat up. “Really? You would do that? For me?” Because that really meant a lot to her and she really wasn’t scared of showing him where she lived. One, he probably knew already, and two, he was the one that was especially focused on taking out the rapists and who preached about the importance of ‘no’ and to whom consent mattered. She knew it. She could and would trust him if he was actually going to help her with this.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you so much! You can’t even imagine how much it matters to me!”

“We can go whenever you want to. I’ll meet you here.”

“At nine in the morning?”

“So early? But yeah, why not. How much time should I expect you to spend there?”

Marinette laughed. Poor guy had  _ no idea.  _ “At least a few hours. Expect to be used as my mannequin to see how the fabrics would look like on a person.”

⬷۵⤐

“Hello and welcome to Aroma Mocha!” Marinette said, trying to smile and sound cheerful. It had been a long night and now she had to substitute Luka as he was sick in the morning shift. Ew. 

The man that had entered was tall and rather intimidating. The streak of white hair did nothing to help that image, really. He was gorgeous, though. 

Wait. 

That step pattern.

And that white streak. 

Were all the Bats this stupid? Seriously, one would think Batsy would train smart vigilantes but  _ apparently not.  _

Marinette made sure there was no one behind him as he approached the counter. Now that she knew what to look for in him, it was quite obvious who this person was and she had no idea how they thought no one could have them figured out. 

“Hi, could I get—”

“Oolong with oat milk? Sure. Would you also like to go out with me?”

The man stopped in his tracks and stared at her like he had seen a ghost. “I— what?”

Marinette sighed and made a vague gesture with her hand “Did you really not hear me? Would you like to go out with me?”

“Why would I?”

“Because, my friend, I like you and you’re an idiot because I recognised you and your stupid, nice hair and walking style nearly immediately, Hood. Also, one of us had to make a move, it might as well be me.”

The shock on his face grew first before melting away completely. “Yeah, okay, maybe I should have seen that coming. That explains all the odd things that happened with the Demon Brat as well. You recognised him too?”

Marinette nodded. “Yeah, none of you are very subtle. You didn’t answer the question though.”

Hood laughed. “Yeah, it would be great. Name’s Jason, by the way. You couldn’t have waited like, two more days? I was going to ask you out soon.”

“Sure you were. It’s great to meet you out of mask finally, Jason. What do you say, I get out at 12, then I’ll go take a nap, and then we could go get some hot chocolate?”

Hood— no,  _ Jason,  _ smiled down at her. “Sounds great. I’ll be here at five?”

“Make that six. You’re paying.”

Jason just blew her a kiss in response. 

Damn him. 

Now she was blushing during work. 

  
  


**_BONUS:_ **

**Jason:** Nettie and I are now dating, none of you can get her anymore.

**Damian** : You were dating the whole time, Todd. None of us would have even tried to get her.

**Tim:** Agree. For once.

**Jason:** You too, Timbers? I thought I could trust you and  _ you side with  _ **_Damian?_ **

**Damian** : Drake, don’t agree with me, it makes me uncomfortable.

**Tim:** Yeah me too, pipsqueak. Shit, I agreed with you again.

**Dick:** Language around Damian!

**Bruce:** No names on the field!

**Dick** : Shit.

**Tim, grinning:** Dick,  _ language! _

**Bruce** : Red Robin,  _ no names on the field! _

  
  


_**BONUS BONUS:** _

How Mari confirmed she knew the rest of their identities:

**Marinette** : [making a sequin pillow with different designs on each side that you can swipe at it to change which side faces up, one side picturing Batman and the other Bruce Wayne before putting it in a nice box]

**Marinette** : Hey mon phénix, here’s a gift for you, but please don’t open it before you get home.

**Jason** : Okay…?

**Jason** : [gets home and opens the thing]

**Jason** : Oh my god she  _ knows _

**Jason, on the following night** : Nettie?? What?? How much do you know about them??

**Marinette** : Well, nothing before you just confirmed it. I mean, it’s not like he’s even trying to hide it. Do you even know how many times he’s been asked if he’s Batman and just said “yes”? And then no one believes him? Ridiculously often! I hate to sound like Chlo even if she’s one of my best friends, but that’s just ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!

**Jason** : And… the rest of them?

**Marinette** : Well, I bet I could guess at least two thirds of them semi-accurately. Want me to try?

**Jason** : No, no, I’m— I’m good, please don’t.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this piece of ridiculous fluff!
> 
> You can also find me on my [tumblr](https://ethelphantom.tumblr.com/) if you want to scream at me about DC, Maribat or Code Geass!


End file.
